Day 12 - Day 21

I'm going to race through those days I've missed posting here with a recap:

Day 12

I had ample opportunity to practice by remembering patience in my reaction to a someone who chafes me at every turn. This remembering I am the problem in my world is tough stuff, in this; If I have to stand for my actions, I have to stand for ALL my actions.

The latter part of my day was a truly wonderful evening with kids I hadn't seen in thirty years. THIRTY. YEARS. Dinner and carousing at our thirtieth class reunion was a much needed balm to frazzled emotions and raw nerves. It was also a test for me. There has been a thorn in my side for thirty years connected to the continued actions of an other...and I shouldn't see it the way I do.

LEARNING CURVE

Day 13

GREAT day. Happiness filled day. Closeness and ribbing and jaunting and merriment. Until, there came the test. (every day? we get tested every day, Lord? i didn't even have to get tested every day in school!) It is in those moments, I am tested - when it's "all good" - and learn how far I have to grow.

Day 14

That was a Monday? Ahhh, yes. I was still able to ride the wave of nostalgia. Good day. The whole day was a good day. As much as I've pointed it out, this being aware of how important this scripture is in my life, how I know it will change my life, I know too; the worst days are the blessed days.

Day 15 - Day 19

A working blur. Evasive customers. Absentee customers. Inept people. Not nice, eh? Also the truth. Outwardly, not a one knew my struggle. I am professional. I am patient. On the outside. YUK. On my inside, I vented and pouted and pointed fingers. In my head, I held conversations with those people-in-test-form who pushed buttons and pulled rugs. That's all gotta go, if I'm to be changed. When I AM changed, it will go.

Day 20

Might as well have been Day 1 all over again. All after thoroughly enjoying my church service, too. Right out the window all THAT went.

Day 21

And, here I am. Which reminds me:

This was one of the hymns in service. I cry every single time. And, here I am again. I am brought back to center. I am happy in my reprimand. I am thankful I mess up. Here I am, Lord. :-)